A Word or Words By Which a Person is Known

My husband named our eldest son after my father in law. It’s quite an old-fashioned name, which I will not mention here, in fear of offending others who are called the same. At the time, I didn’t question my husband’s choice because he wanted to do something nice for his father, since our son was the first grandson on their side of the family and my father in law was quite excited about it. 

Fair enough.

My son, now 13, HATES it. He blatantly refuses to be called by his first name. He makes sure everyone – everyone – refers to him by his second name (which I picked by the way), including his teachers. And he even swears he will have it changed when he turns 18. 

I don’t blame him. The name is awful. Totally unsuitable for his generation. He’s been picked on, made fun of. The name itself has been modified numerous times. It’s been turned into something hilarious, something sort of insulting, and been added into a slogan. My poor boy must have suffered a lot. 

So, how do we pick a name for our brood? How do we know that the name we’ll pick will not go obsolete after a decade or so? I mean, how do we know we’re not turning our child into a future laughingstock? 

The thought of it is really scary. It’s a big decision. And we’re making this decision on behalf of our child, and it’s a decision that will reflect on him as he grows older. Our attempt to be creative can well be the bane of his existence. And trust me, it’s a tough world out there, especially for a child. Us – the parents – should not be the reason that our child can’t fit in. (I always tell my husband this.)

I guess one way to do it is to look at the name from the child’s point of view and think about how the name will sound and fit when the child grows up. It has to be suitable. People draw conclusions based on the name alone. Just like a book. The title gives you an idea of what the book is about. The moment you read the title, you create a story in your head even before you read the blurb. And it’s exactly the same with names. A silly name will make it tremendously difficult for your child to market himself when looking for jobs. A stupid name will not gain him any respect. An unusually spelt name will burden him of having to spell his name correctly to people for the rest of his life. A cutesy name, a name that sounds really adorable on babies, can turn into something absolutely ridiculous when he grows old. 

Thank God my name is not something like Princess Blossom, because I would hate to see my future grandchildren attempt to call me Grandma Princess Blossom while looking at my wrinkly and toothless face, without laughing their heads off. I’d die of humiliation.