My husband named our eldest son after my father in law. It’s
quite an old-fashioned name, which I will not mention here, in fear of
offending others who are called the same. At the time, I didn’t question my
husband’s choice because he wanted to do something nice for his father, since
our son was the first grandson on their side of the family and my father in law
was quite excited about it.
Fair enough.
My son, now 13, HATES it. He blatantly refuses to be called
by his first name. He makes sure everyone – everyone
– refers to him by his second name (which I picked by the way), including his
teachers. And he even swears he will have it changed when he turns 18.
I don’t blame him. The name is awful. Totally unsuitable for
his generation. He’s been picked on, made fun of. The name itself has been modified numerous times. It’s been
turned into something hilarious, something sort of insulting, and been added
into a slogan. My poor boy must have suffered a lot.
So, how do we pick a name for our brood? How do we know that
the name we’ll pick will not go obsolete after a decade or so? I mean, how do
we know we’re not turning our child into a future laughingstock?
The thought of it is really scary. It’s a big decision. And
we’re making this decision on behalf of our child, and it’s a decision that
will reflect on him as he grows older. Our attempt to be creative can well be
the bane of his existence. And trust me, it’s a tough world out there,
especially for a child. Us – the parents – should not be the reason that our
child can’t fit in. (I always tell my husband this.)
I guess one way to do it is to look at the name from the
child’s point of view and think about how the name will sound and fit when the
child grows up. It has to be suitable. People draw conclusions based on the
name alone. Just like a book. The title gives you an idea of what the book is
about. The moment you read the title, you create a story in your head even
before you read the blurb. And it’s exactly the same with names. A silly name
will make it tremendously difficult for your child to market himself when
looking for jobs. A stupid name will not gain him any respect. An unusually
spelt name will burden him of having to spell his name correctly to people for
the rest of his life. A cutesy name, a name that sounds really adorable on
babies, can turn into something absolutely ridiculous when he grows old.
Thank God my name is not something like Princess Blossom,
because I would hate to see my future grandchildren attempt to call me Grandma Princess Blossom while
looking at my wrinkly and toothless face, without laughing their heads off. I’d
die of humiliation.
Stunning.
Original review was posted on Goodreads, 20th of May 2012